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Weekend at Shannons!

February 2, 2011

I don’t know if this is going to be as funny to everyone else as it was to us, but, here goes…

My friends and I always joke that we’re going to do a Weekend at Bernies type thing with whichever one of us dies first.  Actually, I have this joke with two of my friends but somehow Shannon ended up being our potential dead body this week.  You see, Shannon is trying eHarmony and she had a date on Friday night.  The last that my friend, Carolyn, and I had heard from Shannon was that she would text if she needed an emergency call during the date and/or if she thought the date was a potential murderer.  A gal can never be too careful. 

After a few attempts at contact, Carolyn became concerned when Shannon didn’t reply and this is the email string that resulted from that “concern” today. 

Carolyn:

Dear Alice,
Do you know if Shannon is alive or if her harmony date killed her on friday?  WTF, I texted her friday to ask her what car she drove and give her a fake-text if she needed it….no word back. Yesterday I email her to see if she was alive b/c I realized I never heard back and it would be awkward if she were dead and I had never thought “hm, she never responded to me and yet I didn’t think she was being murdered.” Yeah, so no word back from the email either.
 
And I’m just saying Alice, if she’s gone from this world, you and I have some hi-jinx with her corpse to pursue and we need to get to her place asap before somebody else does, right?!?!
 
OH! Oh hi Shannon, did I copy you here? oops! Well obviously I way prefer you to be alive and not be able to stuff your body and sit you in the corner of the living room and decorate you with each holiday of the month. hahaha, Oh we MUCH prefer you alive….Alice, if she’s dead, call me.

Me (Alice):

Haha. If she’s dead I’ll be over with the body asap.  I know exactly what outfit to put on her first.  Haha
But she did post on Facebook so its likely she’s ignoring you.  Unless the killer is the one who posted on Facebook in order to make everyone think she was alive and just ignoring them.  If he’s doing that you’d think he’d respond to her texts too.  How rude.
Anyway yeah I hope she’s alive too but if not….  WEEKEND AT SHANNONS!!!!!  WOOP!!  LOL

Carolyn:

Alice, I think it’s the killer who posted on FB b/c he obviously stole her phone and doesn’t have access to her email here to respond, wouldn’t you agree? Plus the wine pic “she” posted last night was of one that I found relatively gross when I bought it once…that may have actually killed her….
 
Hm, regardless I think we’re in agreement that she’s dead in which case I will mourn for a moment before picking out some “decorations”  for her remains….

Me:

I’m still gonna file her taxes and just put my account number in the direct deposit info.  I mean, someone should get that money.  May as well be me.

Tonight was cancelled so let me know if you wanna go to her house together tonight to collect her remains.  I’ll bring my knife just in case the killer is still there. 

PS – hope he just scared her to death or something.  Taking her out with stab wounds is gonna be hard to explain.

PPS – Dear Officer(s), if Shannon really DOES turn up dead, it wasn’t us.  We can do this with any old dead body and don’t need to kill to make it a reality.  lol

Obviously, Carolyn and I have a lot of issues.  But Shannon doesn’t.  She is alive and well, in case you are wondering.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. Shannon permalink
    February 2, 2011 3:17 am

    OMFG that’s the funniest thing EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t stop laughing! Tears are pouring down my face!!!! EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE you guys!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  2. February 2, 2011 3:21 am

    haha we love you too! The funniest part is that I realized while I was writing this that I heard from you a few times this weekend a didn’t even think to tell Carolyn that. hahaha Totally just remembered. LOL

  3. February 2, 2011 3:50 am

    Hilarious!

    If I die, you can use my body as your Bernie.

  4. February 2, 2011 3:44 pm

    hahahahhahahahha! wtf else can I say lol.

  5. Elizbeth Chesnes permalink
    February 2, 2011 11:07 pm

    Knowing the 3 of you as I do, I could not stop laughing. But seriously, Shannon you should have at least responded to one text — how hard is it to text OK 🙂 We love you Shannon. As for Ally and Carolyn the jury is still out on those two 🙂 Love to all, Mom
    PS Still laughing —

  6. February 3, 2011 4:16 pm

    Hi-fucking-larious!!

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